AAADD

AAADD KNOW THE SYMPTOMS 
Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder. 
Somehow, I feel better even though I have it!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. 
It’s called, “Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder”.
 
 This is how it manifests:

 I decide to water my garden.
 As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
 
 As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
 I brought up from the mail box earlier.

 I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
 
 I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
 and notice that the can is full.

 So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

 But then I think,
since I’m going to be near the mailbox
 when I take out the garbage anyway,
 I may as well pay the bills first.

 I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left. 
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
 I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.

 I’m going to look for my checks,
 but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
 so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
 
 The Pepsi is getting warm,
 and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
 
 As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
 a vase of flowers on the counter
 catches my eye–they need water.
 
 I put the Pepsi on the counter and
 discover my reading glasses that
 I’ve been searching for all morning.
 I decide I better put them back on my desk,
 but first I’m going to water the flowers.
 
 I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
 Someone left it on the kitchen table.

 I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
 but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
 so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
 but first I’ll water the flowers.

 I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

 So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

 Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

 At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed
 the bills aren’t paid
 there is a warm can of
 Pepsi sitting on the counter
 the flowers don’t have enough water,
 there is still only 1 check in my check book,
 I can’t find the remote,
 I can’t find my glasses,
 and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
 and I’m really tired.

 I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it,
 but first I’ll check my e-mail….