dear adult children

By the time you reach out to someone, anyone for advice or assistance, your parent(s) need way more help than you think.  I have done over 500 assessments on older adults and my general rule is whatever you tell me on the phone…multiply times 2 or 3.

It’s not your fault. Your parent(s) tell you they don’t need anything and you cannot possibly understand their day to day routine.  They are hiding all the things that cannot do.  Please understand, they are trying as hard as they can not to be a burden to you.  This generation values their independence more than anything.  It almost always takes a major health event for you to see that things are not right.

But, eventually, something major happens and you are knee deep. They are hospitalized.  A Social Worker or Case Manager comes by to talk to you about where need to go upon discharge.  You now have 48 or 72 hours to find a place.  They throw acronyms at you.   They tell you where “they” think you should go.  This is the time to call a professional who understands ALL your options, not just the ones you are given.